Recollections
by ani.writes
Summary: After the Return of the Jedi. AU. Darth Vader survived. Anakin Skywalker did not expect to survive. He did not expect to find solace in his family members both alive and dead. Whatever going on might have been disorienting but this was the way of life. Snippets of exploring possibilities and expectations of the characters {TWO SHOT} PLEASE LEAVE NICE AND LONG REVIEWS!
1. Chapter 1

_**Summary: After the Return of the Jedi. AU. Darth Vader survived, reforming. Snippets of the broken Skywalker family piecing things back together. Basically me yakking a few hours on the Skywalkers. Let's go**__**.**_

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**1**

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"_If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."_

_** \- Obi Wan Kenobi**_

* * *

Being Anakin Skywalker felt strange. Waking up to blinding whiteness and he felt strangely naked without his black suit despite being fully covered. The next thing he noticed was that he was incredibly sore. There was a constant dull pain everywhere and slightest movement left him in so much pain. And yet, everything felt...underwhelming. He felt detached. He felt numb.

It was way beyond him why Luke saved him. After all, he was the very man that caused so much pain and suffering. He did not see what the boy saw in him. He was just destined to a life of pain and anguish after this. And Luke, _caring, gentle Luke _saw something that he did not even see in himself. The effects of Palpatine's force lightning took a toll on his body as he dragged him out of the room in hope to save him.

But, he just wanted to _die_.

Yet, Luke still saved him. He did not understand what was going through the boy's mind but it happened.

Speaking of Luke, he has not seen the boy in a while. After he was dragged out of the Death Star, he did not remember much other than both of them collapsing in Endor. It felt like a long time and it was. It had been a month already, granted that he was in a coma this whole time, but there still was no sign of Luke.

Luke Skywalker reminded him too much of _Padme. If he didn't… _He cut himself from finishing his thought. He failed his family a lot and he did not want to deal with one more failure.

He should have died; died in that Obsidian tower that he had thrown Palpatine out on. And, his mind silenced as he focused on the wheezy breaths he took from his respirator.

The door opened as he took in a shaky breath and there was a strange creak from his respirator. And there he saw a messy mop of blonde hair peek from the door and a sun tanned arm. He felt this strange feeling bubbling within his chest. He watched Luke. The same Luke that saved him walk into the room.

The first thing he did was send him a bright smile, his ocean blue eyes sparkling brightly into his dull blue ones. Luke was definitely a splitting image.

"Father,"

Anakin looked up as he twisted the white band around his wrist. He wanted to say something but his vocal cords felt so sore. He tried to open his mouth and yet, nothing came out. Something about this whole situation triggered this weird sort of wistfulness. His heart ached.

"Luke," It came out dry, soft and whispery. A forlorn smile set on his face. It felt weird. This boy was his son. The one he had vowed to protect. And yet, he had failed them so much.

He gazed into the ocean blue eyes of his son that was enough to show that he wore his heart on his sleeve. It was so deep that it pulled him forever and forever. A wave of guilt hit him. He tried to prop himself up. Pain shot through his body. He winced, plopping back onto the white sheets.

"Careful there," Luke said, rushing over to help him.

Anakin sent a weak nod, duly noting that he should not do that again. There was so much of Padme in him that it physically hurts. A roll of nausea wiped over as he closed his eyes, his respirator creaked once more as he took in an especially loud inhale. He had failed everyone.

He failed Obi Wan.

He failed Padme.

But most importantly, he failed his remaining flesh and blood.

_Luke and Leia._

* * *

It was a couple of weeks and Anakin was given the clearance to move around. Anakin was grateful towards that since he was not restricted to one room. However, sometimes, it did take a lot out of him as he sat down as often as he could. His chest burned whenever he overexerted.

Lots of the injuries that went unnoticed as Vader was taking a toll on him as one wrong move always shot pain through. The medcentre held particularly bad memories for him, particularly the Clone Wars. He hated it there. The smell of antiseptic made his head ache.

He was slowly getting used to being called Anakin and yet, he did not feel like Anakin. Luke visited every opportunity he got. Sometimes, it was short and other days, he would sit down and talk for long hours. Anakin, especially looked forward to the latter and when his son and he would cuddle up in one bed and they would just recount their day (obviously, Luke's one was much more interesting).

And yet, his daughter, Leia would not even give him one glance. The most he got to see her was when she called Luke for some Jedi matters. Leia always had this loathing, disappointed look whenever they encountered each other. At those times that he wished Luke did not save him.

Leia hated him. No, Leia _loathed _him. He felt his chest tighten and his respirator would make another odd noise whenever he were to look at Leia. Leia was a splitting image of Padme. And, it was so tragically heartbreaking. Anakin hated it.

For all his life, the Jedi Order had taught him to not feel. He hated that then. However, right now, all he wishes is to stop feeling. He took in a deep breath.

He felt strangely empty; his old suit was not there in which he could cover his shame. However, a small part of him liked this better than his old one. He was able to eat; _taste_! He was able to taste the tiny morsels of food that Luke smuggled for him. He was able to see more clearly. The microexpressions on others' face, the dimple on his son's cheek whenever he smiled and the tiny details on Leia's clothes. Anakin was growing used to seeing those tiny but happy things in life.

It always gave him a warm fuzzy feeling that he got whenever he was around Padme. It was unfamiliar, yet strangely familiar.

_It was kind of like deja vu. _

Anakin was snapped up when he heard two voices. Both of them were familiar. Both of them were the voices he earned to hear every time. He noticed the mess of blonde hair and a pale elbow poking out from the doorway.

"Well, I am only here to clear up things, _not to make amends_-"

"I know! But, you will realize that he is not that bad of a person-"

"Luke,"

"Fine, I'll leave you with him. I'll allow your privacy-"

The blonde mop peeking from behind the door vanished and his chest tightened. His respirator made an odd creak. Anakin knew this day would come.._.but not so soon._

* * *

Leia Organa prided on her ability to stay calm in tense situations. And yet, right now, her heart was pounding a million miles. She felt strangely giddy. She pursed her lips tightly as she watched Luke walk away to do who knows what.

Her relation with this man in this room was merely biological and her real father was Bail Organa not Darth Vader. She did not understand what Luke saw in him. Luke can be a little too optimistic sometimes.

She looked at the man right into his eyes as if she was trying to establish her dominance. She sat down, her posture poised. All she wanted to know answers about why did this all happen. It was beyond her how she was related to this man.

She looked at the man, wanting to address him. There was this big metaphorical elephant that was in the room. The man, who formerly went by Darth Vader, looked so vulnerable. There was something satisfying about it. However, at the same time, it felt wrong.

"Vader," It was sharp. She noticed a flinch from the man as he looked at her.

Leia did not know exactly what to call him. Luke called him father, and most people in the rebellion tended to call him Anakin. However, both those terms felt wrong. She looked calmly, trying to hide her anger.

"Well, don't think I have forgiven you. I am just here for answers. Why did you do this? All of this?" Leia's voice was quivering in silent anger. She clenched her fists as she looked at the bald man.

"I- This all happened because I wanted to save Padme, Luke and… _you_," Anakin began, " I had this vision… that you, she, Luke would die a-and I did not know any better. I could not talk it out with the Jedi since this was restricted b-but P-Palpatine said he had something that would allow me to s-save you, your mother and Luke- the Dark Side!"

Leia noticed his eyes widen in hope and that emotion dissipated as quickly as it appeared.

His voice was hoarse and whispery, "So I accepted, I became his apprentice. The day I bowed to him was the day Anakin Skywalker died and Darth Vader was born. Palpatine made me do horrible things all in hope for me to save your mother. A-and, it went out. My judgement became clouded and everything was a huge blur. All I ever wanted was to save you, Luke and Padme…"

"Well, what you did caused us more suffering than happiness," Leia snapped, "Luke and I were split. You destroyed Alderaan. You cut off Luke's HAND! You sealed Han in carbonite. You DESTROYED planets. Luke, Han and I were constantly on the run. We did not have a safe place to live! And, Padme died!"

"My real father is Bail Organa. Not _you_,"

Those words were just enough to shatter Anakin's heart into pieces. The words his daughter uttered made him wish he was never saved. How are people going to forgive him if his own daughter did not have the heart to. She watched Leia storm out of the room, leaving him all alone in this bleak white room.

Anakin just wanted to make up for everything. Maybe, Leia and Luke would have been happier without him.

He majorly messed up. All he wanted to do was fix it.

* * *

Leia storming out of the room was enough to make the man more guiltier than he already was. Her brown eyes betraying the pain and anguish hidden underneath a cloak of fierceness and anger. Anakin stared blankly at the never ending white of the four walls. He felt suffocated and overwhelmed.

His emotions were all over his face, a lump forming in his throat. He quickly shook the urge off as the door slammed, the man winced as an overwhelming numbness washed over him. He sat there like an idiot, not even a single word came out.

He wanted to say a thousand things, his mind was loud. And yet, he did not have the courage to talk about it. He was not who he used to be. Going into the dark side, he saw horrible things, done horrible things, thought horrible things.

The dark side was a huge weight, huge blur. It was a never ending void with no escape. He hurt everyone he loved. He pushed away those who wanted to help him. He committed atrocities to the innocents. Coming out of the dark side led to another maze- guilt.

Everything felt impossible. Heck, things would have been simpler if things were as clear cut as good and evil. The shades of grey that he was in, led to so much pain, confusion. He just wanted to be put out of this misery.

However, a part of him, a very deep, very repressed part of him said that all Leia needed was time. The more rational part of him said that it was impossible. He had hurt Leia more than he thought he had. He felt so stupid.

He noticed a lanky elbow peek from the door away. The presence of the force signature was very familiar. He would never forget that. It was Luke. His son. His pride. His joy. The one who pulled him out of this mess.

"Didn't go so well, I take it?" Luke asked, running his fingers through his golden locks.

Anakin did not reply.

"I'm sorry. Maybe, I told her to do this a little too quick?"

Anakin noticed his son's crestfallen face, another wave of guilt crashed. He did not mean to make his son upset. His dull cobalt eyes stared back into the youthful ocean. He wanted to tell him how much he meant to him.

However, all he could utter was, "I'm sorry, it's not yours. I should have known better,"

Luke perked, his crestfallen face morphed into a soft smile. The next few moments was a little unexpected as his son's warm arms wrapped around him. He looked surprised but soon melted into it, his arms wrapping around Luke.

Luke whispered, "I love you, father,"

"Me too,"

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**_A/N: Well, I am kinda new to the fandom and I absolutely adore the Skywalker fam so why not? I hope that you guys enjoy this and I would love if you would leave a review! Thank you!_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**2**_

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"_You're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you."_

_** \- Luke Skywalker**_

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Cobalt met with ocean, Anakin took a deep breath as he saw his son donning his old Jedi robes. It brought back painful memories and yet a strange sense of pride warmed his cold heart. His lips tugged up as Luke's face held a smile that could light up the galaxy. R2 beeped heartily and C3PO held this sense of pride as he watched Luke flattened the garment.

"Dad! I found your old robes!"

_Dad. _It felt oddly strange to be called 'Dad' as he felt that he had not quite reached that rank. And yet that word meant so much to him. His lips tugged up, nodding in approval. While it held many memories for him, it contained one good one that would outweigh all - his son donning it.

He turned to look at his old droid as his heart felt heavy. The astromech droid and the golden protocol droid held both good and bad memories. A wave of guilt hit him once more, he shook his head.

_He was Anakin now, not Vader._

It was repeated over and over again by Luke. It was an annoying mantra that was stuck in his head, repeated more than necessary. And yet, a small part of him knew that it was necessary and the only things keeping him in check.

"R2," Anakin began softly. R2 beeped in response. Anakin had finally mustered up the courage to talk to his old droid. The one that he would risk the whole galaxy to save. His heart maybe his weakness, but at the same time, what held him together. He did not know what happened between but he was relieved that R2-D2 and C3PO had ended up in the hands of his son rather than some random stranger.

"Do you remember me?"

He felt lame for asking that question. R2 sent a series of beep that Anakin sought comfort him. His old droid remembers him. And, forgives him. He wanted the back but he knew he was not going on any more missions and it was better that R2 and C3PO stayed with Luke than him.

"W-wait, you know R2! You were his original owner?" Luke began, his head cocked to the side.

Anakin nodded slowly but surely. Anakin reminisced all the missions that he went through with these droids. The successful ones. The failed ones. And the ones in between. Anakin did not feel a surge of anger. He felt a bit numb; immune. The anger, the hate has mysteriously vanished. He was slowly coming to terms and he felt oddly detached. He was tired. He was _exhausted_.

He watched Luke parade in his attire. For a moment, he mistook Luke for himself. He reminded him of Padme so much and at the same time, he reminded him of himself. There was a sense of pride that brewed within his heart. He knew what he had to say.

"Keep it,"

"Really?"

Ocean eyes lit up, Luke face looked more youthful than ever. Anakin had a smile tugging his lips as he nodded.

"Yeah,"

* * *

Force Ghosts was a foreign topic to Anakin. Anakin had not encountered many force ghosts as he became a Jedi and transitioned into Darth Vader. He had heard about them a lot. However, he did not encounter one until today.

Luke exited the room with the faithful droids right behind him. He felt a sense of peace calm his turbulent mind as he took in a deep breath and his respirator made a creak. Anakin was left alone once again. He contemplated whether to go out and have a bit of a breather.

He could use some sun for his pale skin although it was not entirely white anymore. Sitting in a medical center, somewhere in remote Naboo was therapeutic. Naboo held happy memories. Especially with Padme.

Anakin walked out of the centre, the grass surrounding the whole building. There were bits of snow beginning to fall. The orange sun setting into the distant mountains. Anakin felt finally free. Anakin sat upon a log, his portable respirator creaked once more.

And, he saw blue wisps beginning to form into a something and there stood a man that he would never forget.

"_Obi Wan,"_ Anakin choked as he remembered the events of his murder. His hands shook and fingers trembled. He stared blankly at the grass. His short-lived peace vanished into thin air, leaving a trembling, guilty man.

"I'm so sorry," Anakin's whispers harsh, a cluster of tears made his eyes looked glassy as he looked up the man that he once considered a brother, his master. His cobalt eyes could not even dare to look into the Force Ghost's eyes.

"Anakin," Obi Wan began, there was this sort of awkwardness lacing his voice, "It's okay. It's fine. It's my fault. I-I should have known better. I-"

Anakin looked into his master's eyes, "It's not yours. I shouldn't have turned to the Dark Side. I should have seen Palpatine for who he really was. I am so dumb. I am so _fricking _dumb!"

"Anakin, it's okay. It's over. You are back-"

"M'so sorry! I should have known better-"

"Anakin,"

"I hurt everyone,"

"Anakin…"

"M'so dumb!"

"Anakin,"

Anakin stopped rambling as he looked into the aged eyes of his master. Obi Wan's gaze softened, wisdom radiating from his being. He crouched to Anakin's level.

"It's okay. You're back. You're fine. Luke's fine. Leia's fine! And, their friend's are fine. You took down Palpatine. You learnt from your mistakes! Isn't that what matters?"

Anakin fell silent, his gaze averted to the sunset. The blue sky darkening, blots of purple, red and orange creating a silent symphony in the sky. Anakin's chest tightened, his forehead creased with tension. He bit his lip, digging red half moons into his palms. He dragged in a breath.

Obi Wan continued, " You may have killed a large number of people but by ending the empire, you have spared a large number of people too. I know it's hard but would Luke want you to be like this?"

Anakin was in deep thought as he watched the sun peek from the horizon.

"Anakin. I thought you were entirely consumed by darkness. I thought it was the end of Anakin Skywalker. Yet, he was the one who prevailed, right. Vader is no more. The empire is yesterday,"

Anakin did not have the heart to reply. He clenched his fists, his tense shoulders slouched in disappointment.

"Do you know the last thing was Padme said?"

Anakin perked up.

"She said that there was still good in you. She never doubted you, Anakin. She was right! Do you think she would want you to be like this?"

Anakin shook his head.

"Well, I have to go now," Obi Wan began as the blue wisps begin to dissipate.

"Thank you, _master_. For everything,"

"You too, Anakin, _you too_,"

* * *

Leia did not have much energy left in her. Everything felt drained from talking to Vader. She cannot be related to the most evil man in the world! It just was not right. Leia clenched her fists, her brown eyes staring at the linoleum tiles.

"Leia?" A hand was on her shoulder. It was Luke. Luke's force signature was something that she could never forget. And, the little force training that Luke had been giving her was useful so as to anticipate who was approaching.

"About father, isn't it?"

Leia stopped in her tracks. Her eyes widened at the fact that she had been denying for the past few months.

"My father isn't Darth Vader. My father is Bail Organa,"

She repeated the same thing that she had said to Vader. It was like second nature. She did not want to admit but the rational part of her said it was true. After all, he was the only father he had left.

Luke frowned. His eyebrows knit in concentration. Leia shrugged off her brother's arm. Her father was always Bail Organa. The compassionate, caring man that had nurtured her since birth. She was treated with respect. She was loved. She was taught the right thing. Isn't that the duty of a parent?

And yet, this man had the nerve to try and wriggle back into his life after all he had done to the galaxy. She felt a surge of anger. She took in a deep breath. She was Leia Organa. She was not supposed to be like this. She should not get angry at the littlest of things.

She glanced at Luke who was gazing at the linoleum tiles. She noticed Luke fiddling with the hem of the old faded robes. Leia raised her eyebrows.

"And where did you get that junk?"

_It was bound to get a reaction out of Luke_, Leia mused to herself. And as anticipated, she did.

"It's not junk! It's father's robes!"

And for some reason, that killed the mood. They both were enveloped in silence as Luke's gaze softened.

"Leia, I know he killed Bail and Breha Organa. I know he destroyed planets. I know he's the reason why we were separated and my cybernetic arm. And, there's no denying that," Luke began, " I know it's hard for you to like just suddenly mesh with him. But, things are changing. He's a better person now! He won't hurt you! And, if you need any help with talking to him or just talk in general, I'm here,"

Leia's mouth formed a perfect 'O'. It was usually Leia who did this. Trying to convince Luke not to do anything too dangerous, being his impulse control or just general. It felt weird but she was thankful that she had someone to depend on.

"Luke, thanks. _Brother,"_

Luke gave a knowing smile before leaving, R2-D2 beeping and C3PO asking them to wait for him. _Maybe things weren't so bad after all._

* * *

Leia clenched her fists, gritting her teeth. She did not know what she was doing. Leia was here to talk to Vader on her own accord. No convincing by Luke. No motivations. However, she found herself walking into Vader's room.

She twisted the doorknob, a wave of giddiness took over her. The man she saw sitting. The man that was supposedly her father. The man that had destroyed all the planets. Leia felt her heart pounding, she pursed her lips into a thin line.

"Vader,"

Anakin flinched. Leia's gaze was unreadable and glazed over. He killed her _real _parents. He destroyed her people. He caused so much pain and destruction. Why was he here? She could never understand.

"I want to talk," the words sounded more forced than ever. Anakin perked as he sat up straight. Leia sat at the plastic chair next to him. Anakin looked surprised. As much as Leia did not want to do this, she had to do this. She has been avoiding him ever since he came here and it's been a good month.

Luke seemed to always have a good time with him. C3PO and R2-D2 aren't so scared of him. Heck, even Han could talk with the man, although it did lead to arguments sometimes. She was the only one who has not actually had any closure with him.

Sure, he's supposedly the most evil man in the galaxy (well second to Palpatine). The imperial rule has been over. She has heard he used to one of the greatest Jedi before the Imperial Rule. And, he did come back to the light. So, he can't be that bad, right?

For once, Leia felt unsure. Her boldness, her confidence has been drained away from her, leaving her with nervousness. Leia had her fair share of being nervous. However, she did not expect it after all of this was over.

She has come so far. And, Luke, despite his evil _(formerly) _father, was the most compassionate, innocent and optimistic human that she had met. She looked at the man. Her brown eyes gazing into his dull cobalt ones.

"Vader… I mean, _Anakin_," Leia began, the words she uttered were careful and calculated. She looked at Anakin.

A forlorn smile graced his features, " You remind me so much of your mother,"

There was a hint of pride, sadness, happiness mixed into that one sentence. Leia barely knew her mother. Luke, despite the little information that he had about his mother, was blank on this subject.

"Who is our mother? Who is Padme? All I know is that she died when I was born,"

The only person who talked about their mother was Anakin. She was curious. She wanted to know. Who is this person that Anakin had always talked about. She noticed Anakin drawing a breath.

"Your mother is Padme Amidala. She was the most beautiful person that I have laid eyes on. She was the most gentle, compassionate and headstrong person that I knew. And, she looked exactly like you," Anakin began.

"Back up. You mean Senator Padme Amidala? The same one who was also the Queen of Naboo?" Leia's eyes widened at the new information.

Anakin nodded, there was a sort of solemness to his demeanour as he talked about her. Leia thought evil people could never love. And yet, this was contradicting all the beliefs that she had held so firmly.

"W-what happened to her?"

Anakin's face darkened, his eyes betrayed the guilt. Anakin's finger intertwined tightly, he took in a shaky breath. Leia braced for the worst.

"S-She died… during childbirth and it was all my fault…" Anakin's voice faltered, Leia could hear the shaky breaths he was taking. Leia's eyes widened.

"Anything else?" Leia prompted. Anakin kept silent. Anakin's eyes were glazed over, he stared blankly at his palms. Leia felt guilty for bringing it up. However, she had to know. She had one last question.

"Did you know that it was me at the Death Star?"

Anakin looked up, his eyes betrayed the state he was in. He looked utterly perturbed.

"No. Heck, I thought that Padme died because I used the Force Choke on her. I thought I killed her. Palpatine lied to me. I thought you guys did not exist! Until Luke came, that was when I realized that she did not die until childbirth,"

Leia fell silent. Anakin looked like he was about to cry. She did not know what was true anymore. She felt strangely sorry for him. After what felt like an hour, Luke wandered in. Luke looked at the scene, the smile on his face dropped into concern.

"Father? Leia?"

The both of them blinked out of their temporary trance. Anakin pursed his lips tightly.

"We were just talking about your mother," Anakin trailed.

"She's Padme Amidala," Leia added.

Luke's eyes widened. He took in a shaky breath. Luke sat down at the edge of the bed.

"She is?" Luke asked.

Anakin nodded.

"She isn't in hiding somewhere, is she?" Luke asked shakily.

"No," Anakin replied duly.

Leia sighed softly, " Everything will turn out okay in the end, right?"

* * *

It was a year.

Twelve months have passed.

Anakin was no longer stuck in the medbay.

Luke began a new Jedi Order.

Leia was preparing to become a Senator for the Republic.

Han was a general for the military.

So many things happened within a short span of time.

Rebellion was no more. The empire ended. Anakin Skywalker was slowly introduced back to society, doing the best he can to help his children. He was getting used to being not in battle. He was getting used to seeing the world through a different perspective.

Anakin would take his time to sometimes teach Luke things to be a Jedi, give his input and spot his errors. He was not a Jedi but for Luke, a little pointers from his old man would help.

Sometimes, he would listen to Leia practice her speeches. Be the biggest supporter for her rallies. This was more of Padme's forte but he was doing the best he can do. Today was two days after Empire Day, a holiday that was now purged.

But, it also was another special day. Luke and Leia's birthday. Anakin wanted to do something to show his thanks and love for his two children.

They maybe 24 now but he had to catch up for lost time. Han was helping around to deck their little apartment with decorations while Anakin helped to set the table.

It may not be big, but he wanted to surprise them. To show them his love. The show them his thank you.

"_SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEIA AND LUKE!"_

"Aw, Dad! You didn't have to," Luke began.

"Thank you, Father!" Leia smiled.

* * *

_**A/N: And, it's done! I hope you guys enjoyed this and please leave a review uwuwuwuuwu!**_


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